Discussion in 'Spam' started by Sie_Sayoka, Feb 13, 2017.
lmfao I'm either retarded or ugly
It's weird because your parents have the opposite traits so you're not supposed to have them. Maybe you just got super unlucky or something.
09: Founding the Empire
In order to ensure that our transition for inheriting the Indian kingdoms goes well we work on creating an empire. Having an empire will allow us to vassalize kings. We already qualify for owning the 3 kingdoms but we need more prestige.
We are close to 8000, only around 1200 more.
Creating new kingdoms gives us prestige. We start by creating the Khanate of Mongolia.
As well as the Khanate of Turkestan.
Mormolycia is no longer a mere king but a powerful emperor!
The Rajputana seek to claim one of Chachinidevi's kingdoms. We enter the war on her side to repulse the invaders.
However the Rajputana are one of the largest kingdoms within India and their forces are far stronger than ours. Furthermore since India is across the Himalayas our forces take an extremely long time to get reinforced.
Mormolycia dies of old age. All hail Emperor matt XIX.
We did not reach India with the bulk of our forces in time and the kingdom of Gupta is lost. The Pratihara's holdings are halved in their defeat.
Matt becomes a cuck.
Meanwhile our expansions westward bring our borders to the Byzantine Empire. They promptly declare war on us.
I don't think we will be able to defend against the Byzantines. Our armies take forever to reach our western borders and I'm sure that their manpower is at least triple of ours. Furthermore the Mongol invasions start in around 80 years and we are not nearly prepared for it. Dealing with the Byzantine incursions as well as the loss of our Indian ambitions is a very serious blow to the future of our empire. In short, we are fucked.
I'm just the unluckiest
10: The Mais and Matts
Due to the unhealthy food he has been feasting on, matt contracts dysentery.
However years of tolerance has built up an immunity for him.
We levy nearly 30k soldiers to meet the Byzantines in battle.
They swiftly conquer our western lands as our troops are en route.
Matt gets cucked once again.
The Byzantine armies, not used to the harsh winters of the Caucasian steppes, slowly succumb to attrition. They retreat back into Anatolia where our armies pursue after them.
The war has been extremely costly for both sides with many thousands dying.
We settle for white peace as obtaining a total victory is neither practical nor needed.
Meanwhile consumption spreads throughout the heartlands of the empire.
Despite his best efforts of avoiding the sickness, matt contracts it and starts coughing up blood.
His court physician, a witch doctor from Africa, gives questionable medical advice.
Matt becomes cured of his physical illness but gains a mental illness in return.
He begins to have visions and delusions.
James is inbred.
We help Chachinidevi lead and expeditionary force to the Punjab in Northern India to claim the Punjab throne. We succeed and her kingdom expands.
However, the victory is bittersweet as the heir to both the Indian and Khotan kingdoms, Blackjack XXII, dies from gout.
Further maddened by the loss of his son, matt replaces his chancellor with Glitterhoof.
Glitterhoof, whilst wise and clever, has an indistinguishable accent which makes him hard to understand.
Matt's mind, deteriorating and feeble, is burnt up from an unusually strong fever. On his death mai XXII becomes emperor.
I thought I had made mai XXII the heir to both kingdoms on Blackjack's death but I guess I got confused. Mai XXIII, mai XXII's half-brother, becomes the king of India putting a halt in our plans for Indian expansion.
However, mai XXII is still in the line of succession for India. We just need to get rid of his sons so we may inherit the porcelain throne.
After killing 4 of mai XXIII's sons we are finally the next in line to inherit India.
It seems that the cuck genes from matt are passed down to mai.
We work tirelessly to prevent mai XXIII, now known as mai the monster, from being deposed so we may inherit India. We defend him from foreign invaders and rebellions.
Mai XXII dies of old age, before mai XXIII. However matt XXIII stands to inherit India as well and waits patiently.
The Byzantines attack once again. We are far stronger than we were the first time they attacked and much more prepared.
Our spy network in Constantinople has been expanding over the years. Coupled with the fact that the current emperor is widely hated amongst his vassals makes him an easy target for assassination.
We cleanly kill him with no loose ends.
Their armies once again overtake our western lands before our troops can confront them.
His son, an infant not yet a year of age, assumes the Byzantine throne where we plan to kill him as well.
He too is killed.
Distracted by our war with the Byzantines the Persians discreetly conquer and oust mai XXIII. Our ambitions for a peaceful conquering of India is now dead.
The Byzantine ruler is now the infant daughter of the late emperor. She will suffer from the negative opinions of her vassals as she is both a girl and a child. They request white peace again which we firmly reject. We want total victory.
The Byzantines, facing widespread rebellion and having their morale crushed by repeated victories over their armies, are forced to give into our terms of surrender. I don't think they will be able to recover and attack us again for some time.
However, soon after our victory over the Byzantines we hear of disconcerting rumors further east.
The Mongols have arrived on our doorstep !!! They bring with them hordes numbering 150,000 strong which swiftly overwhelm our standing army of 30,000.
We surrender the kingdom of Mongolia to these mysterious invaders and plan our next moves.
We marry one of our princesses to the Mongol's son in hope that our new alliance will deter them from expanding any further.
Our failed attempts of gaining ground in India, coupled with the disastrous defeat by the Mongols leave us in a rather vulnerable position. The Mongols can easily further expand to conquer our entire empire unabated. I hope that we can maintain diplomatic relations with them. They are our only major threat at the moment as the Byzantines are recovering from their recent defeat and the Salumids have fragmented.
me as empress:
Separate names with a comma.